


There was, and then there wasn't

by SamWinchesterIsAHero



Series: Starting Over [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, Implied Dean Winchester/Sam Winchester, Implied Mpreg, Implied Relationships, M/M, Miscarriage, Mpreg, Past Relationship(s), Wincest - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-08
Updated: 2015-06-08
Packaged: 2018-04-03 13:08:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,978
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4102144
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SamWinchesterIsAHero/pseuds/SamWinchesterIsAHero
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alternate Universe where Sam never hit a dog or met Amelia. </p><p>Sam had a different reason for not looking for his brother.</p>
            </blockquote>





	There was, and then there wasn't

**Author's Note:**

> So there will be more to come in this series.  
> I have a lot of Ideas for it. So don't worry it will get happier.

"Was there a girl Sam?"

Sam looked up at his brother.  
"There was...."

~o~  
_Flashback ___

Sam finished throwing up in the motel toilet, spitting out what was left in his mouth. Two weeks, two weeks he had woken up everyday running to throw up into his motel room's toilet. He wasn't surprised his body was reacting this way. He barely ate or slept, he hadn't been taking care of himself at all for the past two months, non stop searching for his brother. Lately though these past two weeks and a half it had been getting worse. It started with him just being tired all the time, at first he thought it was the lack of sleep he was getting; but he wasn't new to having little to no sleep. Being a hunter meant you often didn't get more than a few hours in at night, or at times, a week. It was almost like something was draining the energy from him. Also his apatite had increased, as well as weird cravings. It was weird in itself because he would just end up throwing it right back up again if he ate anything. As well as he was having crazy mood swings, he was peeing more than usual, dizziness, nose bleeds, strangely enough his nipples were tender, and yesterday when he had gone to a diner for something to eat, the smell of bacon had made him throw up. So Sam had come to a conclusion that he was sick, the only problem was that none of his symptoms were those that he had heard of for an illness. Deciding to go to the doctor to get medicine to get rid of whatever he had to continue his research to get Dean back, Sam got dressed and drove to the local clinic.  
~  
"Mr. Richards?" Sam looked up at the call of the fake name he was using. Getting up he followed the nurse to a hospital room. Sitting down he turned to the nurse who gave an over friendly smile at him and "Please wait here, the doctor will be with you shortly" before walking out of the room.  
~  
Sam glanced up as a doctor walked into the room, smiling down at him. "Hello Mr. Richards, my name is Dr. Terry Redlund. how about you tell me about some of the symptoms you have been having, then we'll run a few tests." Sam smiled back and listed off all his symptoms he had been having. Dr. Redlund nodded along while he listed them off then looked thoughtful once he was finished. "Well Mr. Richards, I'm gonna have a blood and urine test done. So if you could please pee in this cup in the bathroom down the hall, then just put it in the little window and then follow the nurse to get your blood drawn. Sam nodded and took the offered cup and walked down to the bathroom.  
~  
'Well Mr. Richards, the blood and urine tests both came back positive. Just as I had suspected, you're pregnant." Sam's head snapped up at the words that just came out of the doctors mouth. Pregnant? Him? It was impossible, he was a guy! The doctor smirked at seeing the confusion crossing the man's face. "Let me explain, you see about 5% of the male population in the world has an extra gene that allows them to healthily conceive, carry, and give birth to a child. Of course, it doesn't happen much because really it's not a problem for a man unless he is having sexual relations with another man. So it's even less common for a man to be pregnant, but it's not unheard of." Sam just nodded. Pregnant, he was pregnant. The only person, the only man he had had sex with lately, since he had gotten his soul back actually, was Dean. The baby was Dean's. He looked back up when the doctor started speaking again. "There are some doctors who specialize in male pregnancy, I can get you into contact with them, if you want to keep the baby, if not we could.. take care of it right now if you would like..." "No!" Sam back tracked at that, thought it over and quickly realized that no, he didn't want to get rid of the baby, he wanted to keep it. He couldn't kill apart of Dean, maybe the only part he had left. Sam quickly and easily made up his mind, he was keeping the baby. "No, I want to keep the baby, and yes I would greatly appreciate if you could get me into contact with a specialist in male pregnancy." The doctor nodded, "Of course, while I have my assistant do that I'll write down and explain some things to you about basic care. You're gonna wanna start pre-natal vitamins, and what foods to and not to eat, and information like that."  
~  
Sam looked around his new apartment, it was small, but clean. One bed, one bath. Though it had a small office that would work for a nursery. He had found himself a job at a diner, and thankfully the people there fully supported his pregnancy. He had an appointment tomorrow with a Dr. Cohen; a specialist in male pregnancy. He would be able for the first time see his baby tomorrow.  
He was two and a half months along, that's when Dean had disappeared. They'd had one last night, since they weren't sure if one or both of them would make it back from killing Dick. It had been frantic, and in the midst of it they hadn't thought to use a condom. Of course he hadn't thought that would matter, they were both clean he knew; it was just habit to put one on, never knowing if something had decided to curse one of them without them knowing. Don't laugh it had happened to him before. 'Course he also hadn't known that he could get pregnant at the time.  
Sam felt like this pregnancy was almost like a gift from God, just a small way of him trying to apologize. He couldn't have his lover, his soulmate, his brother anymore; so God let him have a small piece of Dean. God let Sam have a reason to live, he had to live now for his and Dean's baby. He let his hand fall down to his still flat stomach, it hadn't changed much, but he could tell it was just a little bit softer. Sam had started to eat right, exercise, and get a job and home set up. It wasn't just himself he had to care for anymore after all. It had been over two months since Dean had vanished and he still had nothing, he couldn't help but think anymore that his brother was dead, so he stopped looking for him to focus on his pregnancy, and be as healthy as possible to keep his baby healthy.  
~  
Dr. Cohen smoothed the gel over Sam's abdomen, then picked up the wand and smeared it and the gel over his stomach. "Mr. Richards," Dr. Cohen pointed to a small blob on the screen, "that is your baby, he or she looks very healthy, a little small, but that's nothing to worry about." Sam gazed at the screen and his vision went watery, that was his baby. Dr. Cohen flipped a switch on the machine and a soft thumping sound filled the room. "And that, is your baby's heart beat. Sounds good and strong." Flipping the machine off she handed Sam some paper towels to wipe his abdomen off, then pull his shirt back into place and sit up. "Now, Mr. Richards, I'm going to go into detail about male pregnancy...."  
~  
_One and a half months later in flashback ___  
Sam walked into the doctors room and smiled at Dr. Cohen, he was 4 months along, and his pregnancy as starting to be noticeable. Today he was going to learn the gender of his baby. He quickly went to the examining table and leaned back on it, pulling his shirt up and lowerd his pants. Dr. Cohen greeted him warmly and quickly got everything set up. She waved the wand over his swollen middle and smiled, pointing at a spot on his baby's body. "Congratulations Sam, you're having a baby girl!" Sam couldn't help the tears that rolled down his cheeks as he looked at his baby. A girl, he was gonna have a baby girl. "Though she is still a little to small, nothing again to worry about. She will be fine just as long as she's not born before she's supposed to."  
~  
_Three months later in flashback ___  
Sam woke with a jolt, unsure of what had woken him up. Then suddenly he felt an intense pain in his abdomen. He quickly splayed his hand to his largely swollen middle and massaged where the pain had come from, breathing through it. As soon as he caught his breath another flash of pain ripped through his middle. Quickly realizing that it was a contraction Sam started to panic. He couldn't be going into labor, could he? No, he was only seven months along. Dr. Cohen said the baby was still to small, that she would need the full 9 months for her to be born healthy. Then another contraction went through him, and he hesitantly pushed a hand down his pajama pants feeling for the opening that his doctor had told him would form before he went into labor. He felt his breath catch as he felt the opening. Another contraction went through him and Sam felt a gush of warm fluid leave his body through the opening with the contraction. Oh god, yea he was going into labor. The contractions were very close together, and he could tell that the baby was coming now. As another contraction went through him Sam gritted his teeth and pushed down.  
~  
Sam breathed a sigh of relief as he felt his daughter leave his body into his waiting hands. He quickly cut the umbilical cord with a knife, and cleared her air ways. His daughter let out her first cry. Though it was more like a soft whimper. Sam quickly wiped his daughter down and wrapped her in a clean warm blanket. God she was so small, to small. Sam couldn't help but smile though, she had blond hair like Dean's, but also brown eyes, Sam knew those had to have come from their dad. She had Sam's nose. She was so beautiful and perfect. Sam gently hugged her close to his warmth and cried at finally holding his daughter.

He held her close and whispered over and over how much he loved her as she took her final breath, less than half an hour later. ~  
Sam sat in a daze as nurses looked him over. Listened as they all told him the same things; that is wasn't his fault, there was nothing he or they could do, it just wasn't meant to be, he did everything he could do, it was just nature's course, nothing wrong with him.  
Sam just stared at his hands. He had lost his daughter, the last part of Dean he had left. He had nothing now, no one.  
~  
He buried her in some woods that him and Dean had been in at one point. By a stream, flowers everywhere bathed in soft golden sunlight. A beautiful resting place for an even more beautiful baby girl. He marked her grave with a cross. He named her Joan. He figured it fit, he had been listening to Joan Jett the first time she kicked. Pretty name for a pretty girl.  
~  
_End of flashback, present time. ___  
Sam looked up at his brother's angry face.  
Ya, there was a girl, a beautiful baby girl that was perfect. "There was, and then there wasn't." 

**Author's Note:**

> What did you think? Did you like? I know I'm not the best writer.... but leave comments below what you thought please! Thanks!


End file.
